I do wonder about the readers of this blog...

Who the hell needed to translate Swiss cow fighting culture into Slovakian???

Please make yourself known to me!

Tax dollars for a worthy cause

Sometimes you hear ex-pats moaning about the fact they pay tax but cannot vote.

On behalf of the Swiss government I say, thanks suckers for giving us money to spend on projects like this one:

"The dignity of living beings with regard to plants. Moral consideration of plants for their own sake."

Did you know that "plants count because they are able to experience something in some way as good or bad, and therefore have their own interests."
Jump straight to page 14 for more info on this.

I love the way they also paid someone to translate this VITAL document into English so someone like me can take the piss out of it.

Thanks Mr Blocher & co.

Another great idea

Meant to post this weeks ago.

Another great idea by the Swiss government - let's make incest legal!

See the report here - scroll down to "Debatte um Inzestverbot".

(Ever get the feeling someone in Bern is fucking his sister and was hoping to sneak this one past the legislators?)

What's next? Locking family members in cellars to be legalized?

I am stupid

What a letter in the Coop Magazine this week!

Summary: I am a 35 year old woman. I had an affair with a married man aged 64. Then after a while he answered my calls less and less. I haven't heard from him in 2 months now. Where do I stand?

Her answer: blah, blah, blah it's over.

My answer: Seriously, how fucking stupid are you??? Honestly!!!

Could the 2 stories possibly be connected in some way???

Cover of 20 Minuten, 14 September 2010.

Top of the front page - police are looking for the pensioner who owns a lot of guns and is roaming free as a sniper having already shot at them in Biel.

Rest of the front page - 13 year old boy is a better marksman than the other approx. 4,800 young children who took part in the state sanctioned shooting competition which is marked by a half day off in Zurich.

Think hard about it Swiss people...the link is staring you right in the face...

Fish...

Like most people, I always thought that there were so many fish in the lake in Zurich due to the cleanliness of the water.

Turns out 60,000,000 fish are hatched out in Stäfa every year and then released into the wild.

Why don't they just put them in a barrel and we can shoot them with our government issued guns?

Would make life a lot easier...

We speak our own happy English. Easy, hey.

Hurry up gentlemen and secure your very own "pullunder" here.

While you're at it, file this one under "other shitty words you read here which are meant to be English" and take it handy in your Beamer....that life you save may just be Swiss.....

Get to know our neighbors #1 - the Austrians!

Don't be scared by this picture - it's of Hatschi Bratschi, the lead character in a beloved Austrian children's book. Yes, children's book!

Hatschi Bratschi has a hot air balloon in which he travels around Austria stealing children and taking them back to his house in the Middle East somewhere.

Yes, that's right, Austrians look up to the sky to see where their missing children are. Carted away by Hatschi Bratschi no doubt.

Emmm...may I respectfully suggest that looking down in their Austrian cellars for missing children might yield better results....???