The Great Swiss Porn Swindle!!!

It's not often a blog gets to break a huge story but, dear readers, that's exactly what I'm going to do right now.

Take a few minutes to consider The Great Swiss Porn Swindle!!!

It goes like this:

Old man dies.

Brockenhaus cleans out the old man's house and sells on their stuff.

However, did you ever see an old man's treasured porn stash for sale in a Brockenhaus? Let's be honest, they should be stumbling over thousands of porn mags a week given the mathematical equation of Y x X = Z. (Where Y is the many old people who die per week, X represents the kinkiness of the average Swiss man and Z is the thousands of porn mags in private possession by people too old to work a computer).

The Brockenhaus should be selling porn mags at 5 Francs for a kilo like they do old books - but they don't!!! And these mags are not being left out for recycling on the street either...I've checked! It's mostly 20 Minuten, Schweizer Familie and the Migros and Coop magazines...

So where are all the deceased Swiss men's porn mags? Do you have to be a real pervert to work in a Brockenhaus? Does this explain the inexplicable musty smell in a Brockenhaus? Questions, questions ... somebody call the police ...

VOTE YES!

If you have voting rights, then please, please, please vote yes to the SP tax initiative on Sunday.

This is the best chance we'll ever have to rid this land of the scourge that is Phil Collins....

Tax dollars for a worthy cause

Sometimes you hear ex-pats moaning about the fact they pay tax but cannot vote.

On behalf of the Swiss government I say, thanks suckers for giving us money to spend on projects like this one:

"The dignity of living beings with regard to plants. Moral consideration of plants for their own sake."

Did you know that "plants count because they are able to experience something in some way as good or bad, and therefore have their own interests."
Jump straight to page 14 for more info on this.

I love the way they also paid someone to translate this VITAL document into English so someone like me can take the piss out of it.

Thanks Mr Blocher & co.

Silly (paper) Swiss woman

Meet Yvette Estermann - a politician in the SVP.

She is from Bratislava and only became Swiss in 1999. You can see her complaining about foreigners on programs like Arena at times. (Come again???)

Having rid us of our problems with minarets, she now wants to introduce a different time zone to Switzerland than the rest of Europe surrounding us.

Yvette, have a lie down, and next time maybe take the red pill instead, ok?

How cool is this name?

Shoppyland.

It's a shopping mall in Schönbühl wouldn't you know.

Isn't it great how Swiss people embrace the English language???

Another great idea

Meant to post this weeks ago.

Another great idea by the Swiss government - let's make incest legal!

See the report here - scroll down to "Debatte um Inzestverbot".

(Ever get the feeling someone in Bern is fucking his sister and was hoping to sneak this one past the legislators?)

What's next? Locking family members in cellars to be legalized?

Halloween - Swiss style

A couple of rugrats called to my door on Sunday.

Children: "Süßes oder Saueres?"

Me: "How I drink my diluted white wine is no concern of yours. Could you please fuck off now?"