Blog

28 August 2010

Get to know our neighbors #1 - the Austrians!


Don't be scared by this picture - it's of Hatschi Bratschi, the lead character in a beloved Austrian children's book. Yes, children's book!

Hatschi Bratschi has a hot air balloon in which he travels around Austria stealing children and taking them back to his house in the Middle East somewhere.

Yes, that's right, Austrians look up to the sky to see where their missing children are. Carted away by Hatschi Bratschi no doubt.

Emmm...may I respectfully suggest that looking down in their Austrian cellars for missing children might yield better results....???

25 August 2010

Street walkers


Am I the only one who thinks this "Yeah, you'll stop for me, won't you?" poster you can see all around Zurich looks a little like an advertisement for the beloved Swiss practice of child prostitution?

Fuck that anyway.

So the people behind the initiative pretty much said, "We want to bring back the death penalty in Switzerland........................not!" according to the news today.

I'm distraught. You see, if we had the death penalty we would certainly not be admitted to the EU according to Article 2 of their rules.

Another fine chance to ring-fence our independence foiled.

:-(

24 August 2010

Forward with progress

We are heavily armed.

We enact laws to ban minarets.

We debate banning certain types of religious dress.

And from today, we collect signatures for a referendum on reintroducing the death penalty.

Also in today's paper, it says 10 million people around the world would move here if they could.

Choose Switzerland, because Afghanistan is full...

20 August 2010

Another amazing offer!

Got a nice e-mail from KLM with some amazing offers this week. Or should I say they proposed me good deals KLM HAPPY DAYS!

They have knocked an AMAZING 13 Francs off fares to Madrid and Stockholm. Stop the madness!!! You're killing me with your kindness you crazy Dutch pot smokers!!!

This really was an offer that made opening up my e-mail worthwhile....

10 August 2010

Putting meat on the bone

Couldn’t sleep last night.

Was wondering just how much donkey meat I can legally bring with me to Switzerland. Luckily the government have thought of this problem and developed a webpage to help people like me.

I can bring 0.5 kilos of donkey or mule meat with me tax-free next time I enter the country.

Thank you Bern!

04 August 2010

All the news that's fit to print! Swiss-style!

The Coop Newspaper arrived yesterday.

For those of you with busy lives who don't have time to read all 96 pages, allow me to summarize its main contents for you.

Pages 14-16 - what is the correct sauce to suit your pasta?

Page 19 tells me that Dentalux Kräuter toothpaste is reduced this week from 1.50 to 1.20 - but hurry, hurry, while stocks last!! This amazing offer is only valid until Saturday 7 August!!!

Singer Baschi (famous for coming 6th in a Pop Idol style TV show!) thinks he is a bit like James Dean...funny that...I know the world regrets James Dean being dead but...