Tax dollars for a worthy cause

Sometimes you hear ex-pats moaning about the fact they pay tax but cannot vote.

On behalf of the Swiss government I say, thanks suckers for giving us money to spend on projects like this one:

"The dignity of living beings with regard to plants. Moral consideration of plants for their own sake."

Did you know that "plants count because they are able to experience something in some way as good or bad, and therefore have their own interests."
Jump straight to page 14 for more info on this.

I love the way they also paid someone to translate this VITAL document into English so someone like me can take the piss out of it.

Thanks Mr Blocher & co.

Silly (paper) Swiss woman

Meet Yvette Estermann - a politician in the SVP.

She is from Bratislava and only became Swiss in 1999. You can see her complaining about foreigners on programs like Arena at times. (Come again???)

Having rid us of our problems with minarets, she now wants to introduce a different time zone to Switzerland than the rest of Europe surrounding us.

Yvette, have a lie down, and next time maybe take the red pill instead, ok?

Zürifaescht

what a weekend!

3 days

2 million visitors

300,000 liters of beer!

Actually wait. Do the math, even allowing for the fact that 50% of visitors were maybe children (not likely seeing as Switzerland hates children)!

Works out at about a beer per adult per day.

Party on Zurich!

Present

Go in to Globus.

Hi, I’m looking to buy a whiskey as a present for my friend’s 40th birthday party.

Certainly Sir, what kind of price range are you thinking of?

Like around 7,500 Francs.

Well I can recommend the Macallan here for 7,580 Francs.

Sorry, did I say around 7,500 Francs? I meant to say 50.

Dalai Lama in Zurich

Look who was in Switzerland for about the millionth time, the Dalai Lama.

I really fancy paying 100 Francs to hear him.....

Alternatively I think I'll just spend it on booze and achieve inner peace that way for less money.

Let's put it to the test:

Dalai Lama vs Rio Drink Market

Rio scores higher for value and the achievement of instant inner peace every time.