Silly (paper) Swiss woman

Meet Yvette Estermann - a politician in the SVP.

She is from Bratislava and only became Swiss in 1999. You can see her complaining about foreigners on programs like Arena at times. (Come again???)

Having rid us of our problems with minarets, she now wants to introduce a different time zone to Switzerland than the rest of Europe surrounding us.

Yvette, have a lie down, and next time maybe take the red pill instead, ok?

Another great idea

Meant to post this weeks ago.

Another great idea by the Swiss government - let's make incest legal!

See the report here - scroll down to "Debatte um Inzestverbot".

(Ever get the feeling someone in Bern is fucking his sister and was hoping to sneak this one past the legislators?)

What's next? Locking family members in cellars to be legalized?

Street walkers

Am I the only one who thinks this "Yeah, you'll stop for me, won't you?" poster you can see all around Zurich looks a little like an advertisement for the beloved Swiss practice of child prostitution?

Fuck that anyway.

So the people behind the initiative pretty much said, "We want to bring back the death penalty in Switzerland........................not!" according to the news today.

I'm distraught. You see, if we had the death penalty we would certainly not be admitted to the EU according to Article 2 of their rules.

Another fine chance to ring-fence our independence foiled.

:-(

Forward with progress

We are heavily armed.

We enact laws to ban minarets.

We debate banning certain types of religious dress.

And from today, we collect signatures for a referendum on reintroducing the death penalty.

Also in today's paper, it says 10 million people around the world would move here if they could.

Choose Switzerland, because Afghanistan is full...

An open letter to the United States of America

Shame on you USA.

We have seen how you treat your celebrity prisoners.

We have seen Ms Lohan weeping because you were VERY TOUGH on her.

And we Swiss say, ENOUGH!

So we say, Mr Polanski, you may have already confessed in a court of law to plying a 13 year old girl with drink and drugs and then forcing yourself upon her but do you know what? You've lived in the French-speaking part of Switzerland for long enough. You've served your time. Go in peace. And remember that 16 year old prostitution is still legal in about 95% of this wonderful country.

Zürifaescht

what a weekend!

3 days

2 million visitors

300,000 liters of beer!

Actually wait. Do the math, even allowing for the fact that 50% of visitors were maybe children (not likely seeing as Switzerland hates children)!

Works out at about a beer per adult per day.

Party on Zurich!

One Score and Ten Years....

Bought a plastic food cover thing from Migros recently.

It has a 30 year guarantee. I'm keeping the receipt in a safe place in case I have to go back in 2039 and say, "Excuse me, this product appears to be defective. It's still under guarantee so may I have my money back."

Then I'll probably zip home on my hoverbike and plug in to the Matrix for real.

Dress Code

So the Swiss want to ban the burka.

While we are introducing a dress code, may I suggest the following additions to the bill?

1. All Swiss people to be banned from wearing lyra shorts. Seriously, it is not essential to wear them while doing all types of sports.

2. Men and women in the Swiss "partner look" should be removed to Siberia or Affoltern am Albis. (Same hardship).

3. Women who look like renegades from the set of Dynasty to be forcibly escorted to the nearest time machine.

I am collecting signatures now...

2010?

St Gallen voted to outlaw legal prostitution for 16 and 17 year olds by just one vote 41-40.

Am I missing something here? Four years after legally requiring a car seat (for children aged up to 12), it is still legal for Swiss teenagers aged 16 in all but 2 parts of the country to sell their bodies for sex.

Is this really 2010?

Illegal by only 1 vote??? For fuck's sake, how can 49% of legislators think it is a good idea???!!!