Mafifa

Some nice Banksy-style artwork outside my office....

Happy Milk Day!

Today is Milk Day!

What have you got planned?










I really need to get off the Swissmilk site!

Mike Shiva is a liar?

You take that back crazy aunt of Mike's!!!

Next thing we know you'll be claiming that he cannot see into your future using cards and an expensive phone line!

Dirty Swiss

On a train this week I picked up the latest issue of Via, the SBB free magazine.

The editor claims it would take 2,350 African elephants to clean up the 9,420 tons of rubbish left on Swiss trains annually.

Shocking figures!

I'm pretty sure a lot of those "elefants" are slacking off!!!

Pigs

So someone in work told me last week that there are more pigs than people in Canton St. Gallen.

I can believe this statistic.

Can't believe it came up in polite conversation though!!!

What is that smell?

Oh, it's just the stink of bullshit from the parliament in Bern...

Swiss quality

So Gaddafi had a Swiss bunker just like all of us in our houses. Bet the Tunisian and Egyptian leaders wish they had placed their trust in Swiss quality as provided by the Luwa firm 30 years ago - they might still be around if so.

Wonder if Gaddafi has to write in his wash days too?

Go SWISS!

Who has the best looking flight attendants?
Not SWISS - and they're proud of it!

Jean-Claude Donzel told 20 Minuten that "Appearance is not the most important attribute (of SWISS cabin crew)."

Thanks for your honesty Jean-Claude. Any chance things might improve?

"Unlike other airlines we don't have a maximum age limit."

So that's a no then...

Welcome aboard SWISS flight LX38 to San Francisco...

Good interview!

Interesting article on Donna Summer in Blick am Abend last week.

She talks about the destructive influence of drugs in the 1970s and her own drug use.

Later in the article she says that people in Zurich are very friendly and helpful.

Let this be a lesson to you kids - drug use can seriously impair your brain function - even decades later!!!

Great Swiss Routes #3

We've gone international this time - leaving Künten Aargau for Fucking Austria!


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I do wonder about the readers of this blog...

Who the hell needed to translate Swiss cow fighting culture into Slovakian???

Please make yourself known to me!

Remember this guy?

It's "Goat Peter" from the Heidi film.

Stefan Arpagaus who played him was on Aeschbacher tonight.

I somehow don't think he's still dining out for free on this one anymore.



Now present-day Clara on the other hand...like Paul McCartney I think I could overlook her disability!

100 Francs

To the first reader to send me a picture of a Reformhaus employee who actually looks healthy....

I'm not worried in the slightest about losing any money!

;-)

Swiss Dating

According to a feature in the NZZ print version yesterday, 71.5% of Swiss said that going out is a good way to meet a new partner.

I am waiting for the correction in next Sunday's paper that it's really 7.15% who think like this.

Come on! Have you ever tried to strike up a conversation while out socializing here??? Being sent to Switzerland is the same as being sent to Coventry...(!)

There are laws against Swiss people talking to one another unless they've been formally introduced, know what the other works at and earns, and their parents have met.

A special licence is also needed for inter-cantonal relationships.

Another great Swiss route

Great suggestion by a coworker who saw my "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" post.

Why not drive from Snot Hole to Bad Egg if you're in that part of Switzerland?

Nice...


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The Great Swiss Porn Swindle!!!

It's not often a blog gets to break a huge story but, dear readers, that's exactly what I'm going to do right now.

Take a few minutes to consider The Great Swiss Porn Swindle!!!

It goes like this:

Old man dies.

Brockenhaus cleans out the old man's house and sells on their stuff.

However, did you ever see an old man's treasured porn stash for sale in a Brockenhaus? Let's be honest, they should be stumbling over thousands of porn mags a week given the mathematical equation of Y x X = Z. (Where Y is the many old people who die per week, X represents the kinkiness of the average Swiss man and Z is the thousands of porn mags in private possession by people too old to work a computer).

The Brockenhaus should be selling porn mags at 5 Francs for a kilo like they do old books - but they don't!!! And these mags are not being left out for recycling on the street either...I've checked! It's mostly 20 Minuten, Schweizer Familie and the Migros and Coop magazines...

So where are all the deceased Swiss men's porn mags? Do you have to be a real pervert to work in a Brockenhaus? Does this explain the inexplicable musty smell in a Brockenhaus? Questions, questions ... somebody call the police ...

How cool is this name?

Shoppyland.

It's a shopping mall in Schönbühl wouldn't you know.

Isn't it great how Swiss people embrace the English language???

Halloween - Swiss style

A couple of rugrats called to my door on Sunday.

Children: "Süßes oder Saueres?"

Me: "How I drink my diluted white wine is no concern of yours. Could you please fuck off now?"

The REAL story

OK Chilean miners, you've had your moment in the sun with your groovy sunglasses.

Now could you please get the fuck off the world stage because we have got the REAL triumphant tunneling story?

Thanks.

Are you between a Rock and a Hard Place?

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Then you are somewhere on the purple line on this map.