Got Bach?

So Heerbrugg in St Gallen plays classical music to keep young people away.

Surprised it has taken them this long to cotton on this trick.

The Swiss churches have been very effective at using this weapon against young people for many years!

Swiss Dating

According to a feature in the NZZ print version yesterday, 71.5% of Swiss said that going out is a good way to meet a new partner.

I am waiting for the correction in next Sunday's paper that it's really 7.15% who think like this.

Come on! Have you ever tried to strike up a conversation while out socializing here??? Being sent to Switzerland is the same as being sent to Coventry...(!)

There are laws against Swiss people talking to one another unless they've been formally introduced, know what the other works at and earns, and their parents have met.

A special licence is also needed for inter-cantonal relationships.

How cool is this name?

Shoppyland.

It's a shopping mall in Schönbühl wouldn't you know.

Isn't it great how Swiss people embrace the English language???

Halloween - Swiss style

A couple of rugrats called to my door on Sunday.

Children: "Süßes oder Saueres?"

Me: "How I drink my diluted white wine is no concern of yours. Could you please fuck off now?"

Are you between a Rock and a Hard Place?

View Larger Map

Then you are somewhere on the purple line on this map.

Festivals

If you are in serious need of some entertainment at this time of year (and now that the new Miss Schweiz has been crowned - who isn't?) may I suggest two festivals, one each from the French and Italian speaking parts of the country?

Cow fighting.
What more needs to be said!
(Note that the link leads to the "culture" section...)

Chestnut festival.
Expect large delays at the Gotthard Tunnel for this beauty!

That's the Swiss for you, 24 hour party people!

Could the 2 stories possibly be connected in some way???

Cover of 20 Minuten, 14 September 2010.

Top of the front page - police are looking for the pensioner who owns a lot of guns and is roaming free as a sniper having already shot at them in Biel.

Rest of the front page - 13 year old boy is a better marksman than the other approx. 4,800 young children who took part in the state sanctioned shooting competition which is marked by a half day off in Zurich.

Think hard about it Swiss people...the link is staring you right in the face...

"Even Swiss people, on a Saturday night, are capable of losing their minds."

Bono, Letzigrund Zurich, September 11, 2010.

Not like you to ever be wrong Bono, right?

Swiss Club in the USA

Why join?

Because nothing says you're Swiss more than roasting a pig.

(I wonder if they're using roasting in the British or American sense of the word)

We speak our own happy English. Easy, hey.

Hurry up gentlemen and secure your very own "pullunder" here.

While you're at it, file this one under "other shitty words you read here which are meant to be English" and take it handy in your Beamer....that life you save may just be Swiss.....

Another amazing offer!

Got a nice e-mail from KLM with some amazing offers this week. Or should I say they proposed me good deals KLM HAPPY DAYS!

They have knocked an AMAZING 13 Francs off fares to Madrid and Stockholm. Stop the madness!!! You're killing me with your kindness you crazy Dutch pot smokers!!!

This really was an offer that made opening up my e-mail worthwhile....

Putting meat on the bone

Couldn’t sleep last night.

Was wondering just how much donkey meat I can legally bring with me to Switzerland. Luckily the government have thought of this problem and developed a webpage to help people like me.

I can bring 0.5 kilos of donkey or mule meat with me tax-free next time I enter the country.

Thank you Bern!

What cool hair....

49 Francs to look like the guy on the bottom right - what a bargain!

The worst thing is, this is actually the main selling point in the window of a city center Zurich hairdresser's!!!

One Score and Ten Years....

Bought a plastic food cover thing from Migros recently.

It has a 30 year guarantee. I'm keeping the receipt in a safe place in case I have to go back in 2039 and say, "Excuse me, this product appears to be defective. It's still under guarantee so may I have my money back."

Then I'll probably zip home on my hoverbike and plug in to the Matrix for real.

Sun

Rumors abound that the sun will finally shine on Switzerland tomorrow.

Hope it's not true, I've almost finished my ark.

Present

Go in to Globus.

Hi, I’m looking to buy a whiskey as a present for my friend’s 40th birthday party.

Certainly Sir, what kind of price range are you thinking of?

Like around 7,500 Francs.

Well I can recommend the Macallan here for 7,580 Francs.

Sorry, did I say around 7,500 Francs? I meant to say 50.

2010?

St Gallen voted to outlaw legal prostitution for 16 and 17 year olds by just one vote 41-40.

Am I missing something here? Four years after legally requiring a car seat (for children aged up to 12), it is still legal for Swiss teenagers aged 16 in all but 2 parts of the country to sell their bodies for sex.

Is this really 2010?

Illegal by only 1 vote??? For fuck's sake, how can 49% of legislators think it is a good idea???!!!

Dalai Lama in Zurich

Look who was in Switzerland for about the millionth time, the Dalai Lama.

I really fancy paying 100 Francs to hear him.....

Alternatively I think I'll just spend it on booze and achieve inner peace that way for less money.

Let's put it to the test:

Dalai Lama vs Rio Drink Market

Rio scores higher for value and the achievement of instant inner peace every time.

Tax time!

It's the end of March so it's time to get your tax returns into the authorities.

The picture shows part of the form given out in Canton Zurich. More specifically, it shows the section where you are supposed to write in how many heads of cattle you own! (Click on the pic to enlarge it).

Personally, I've got all my cows offshore...

Rogue State

The world is finally starting to take notice that Switzerland's image is at odds with what is happening in politics and business.

Check out this article called "Switzerland Goes Rogue" in Foreign Policy magazine.